Men are dangerous. This is not exactly a friendly way to start an article and even worse, one written by a fellow “brother” (you’re probably about to go back to the beginning to check my name. There’s no need, the name is David *insert James Bond soundtrack*). I’ve always shared the opinion that being part of a group does not necessarily mean conforming to the modus operandi. In between kumbaya’s and selfless cheers, the truth (like my father always says) is more valuable to me.
A dear friend was sharing her ordeal about how she had been tricked by a number of us; men (married) pretending to be single, and entangling the opposite sex in their web of lies. Those in relationships running from “that useless, good for nothing girl” to a new, more desirable one, and the list goes on. For every new situation, the question on my mind remains the same; is it possible that we (men) never give something away? A clue, anything as to the nature of our escapades. After pondering on the subject for a while, I’ve come to the conclusion that more times than not, a man who is a master at cheating can continue applying the same formula long enough till one bad day when madam catches him in the act. The reason is there is indeed no way you can decipher a man’s marital status simply by his appearance (minus his ring which is now being ignored by a good number). For the much older ones, the protruding belly caused by numerous pints of lager might be an indication of aristo tendencies. However, even that is not enough to label him an infidel.
The other thing I’ve come to find is that generally, girls like to dream. They like to be told how sweet they are plus more regardless of who’s sharing. If a guy says the right thing, he might win your heart (and more) perhaps even before he wins her eyes. Given the plethora of reasons stacked against a woman, the question then is what can be done? I believe there are definite ways to tackle this issue and make sure you never fall victim again.
Start with his intentions. Too many times, I’ve met women who are afraid to do a little “research” simply because they want to live in cuckoo land. They get carried away very easily and only realise much later. It’s important to approach every case with maturity. If you’re clear on your objective (a glamorous piece of bling on your finger perhaps), it’s important to move quicker than him. Ask straight questions like why are we here, where are we going and so on. Do not give him any chance to make you fall in love before you realise that he’s not the one. Today’s dating scene calls for a vigilante approach. If you want to win, you need to play your cards right. Whether its a guy that’s delaying to make his intentions known, or one that plans to use you as side chick till he’s ready to decide, or away game players determined to hide the details of their escapades from madam, the same remedy applies – if you are serious with your life, you need to draw a very clear line in the sand at the beginning. The world is not going to be nicer to you just because you ask it to. So put your deuces in the air when you see him coming, and tell him like you just don’t care, “oh boy, no time for slowmo“.
Written by David O. II (Twitter: @Da_vd)